Dear Queen Elizabeth,
I am hoping that in your infinite wisdom you will be able to help me with a particular quandary that I have with my fellow Americans. You see, your Majesty, Americans do not seem to embrace the same love of tea that your country does. Perhaps it all began in December of 1773, when “we” threw your perfectly good tea into the Boston Harbor. Sure, there was the matter of taxation and it also happened to be the turning point of us winning our Independence from England… blah blah blah. All these centuries later, us Americans fancy our coffee and have thrown tea into the proverbial harbor. It seems you may owe us an apology… per-chance could you issue a formal apology… invite us to tea… possibly a crumpet or two? Until then, I’ll be waiting patiently for your response, sipping my English Breakfast tea and laughing at all the poor souls online at Starbucks.
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